Friday, November 16, 2012

Leaving Facebook.

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It's the backbone of the American dream, right?  The American Way.

It's bullshit.

Initially, I chalked it up to my 20-year high school reunion.  That's when things started getting quiet in the Land of Make-Believe.  I imagined reconnecting with old friends, seeing faces I hadn't seen since the days of "I made you a mix tape."  I figured life would still be life, just ... better.  More friends, more connections, more people to get to know.

But it didn't happen that way.

Then the election rolled around and just like the dividing line which ran through our country, so too did the line get drawn down the Friends List.  Facebook became the place for armchair politicians, whether or not they'd ever studied politics.  It became a place for people to degrade one another, whether with vicious cartoons depicting the stupidity of one party, or a Cracked article showing the idiocy and ineptitude of the other.  Lines were drawn, words were spoken, and you know what I realized?

I don't really give a shit about people on Facebook.  My "friends."  Really?  Friends list?  How about "list of people I used to associate with, but they probably wouldn't say hello to me if I ran into them at Walmart today."  Or, the ever-popular list of "did her, did him, wouldn't do him, kissed him, passed out at her house twenty five years ago"?

Who are these people, and why are they peddling their problems at my virtual doorstep?  Really?  You're sick again?  Why am I not surprised?  Everyone on Facebook jokes that you're the biggest hypochondriac ever.  Why are they pandering for advice from people on the internet that they haven't seen in years?  Ohhh, you lost your job?  And you're upset about it?  Really?  You've been talking about doing that for years so that you could collect unemployment and stay home with your kids.  Why are you pretending to be upset about it now?  Where are their real lives?  Their real friends?  And why, oh why, did I ever get sucked in?

I'm over you, Facebook.  I will keep an active account which I'll use to share photos with my family from across the miles, but that's all you'll be to me now:  just an online bulletin board.  My pictures and page will be private.  No more sharing of blogs, no more arguing over which type of America is best for my children.  No more funny dog videos.

I feel like a weight has been lifted.

Later, peoples.